Kanye West's Behavior Is Triggering For Anyone Who's Been Harassed By An Ex | HuffPost Life

In Fakhir’s case, her ex texted her incessantly, left threatening voicemails on her phone and appeared at her work unannounced. This was pre-Instagram, so he couldn’t put her on blast there, but he did create a blog where he publicly questioned her parenting and lifestyle choices.

“He made multiple posts slandering me, publicizing our private marital business,” Fakhir, an attorney and mom of two living in northeast Ohio, told HuffPost. “He called me foul names and accused me of a host of things including welfare fraud, when I had never even applied for welfare benefits.”

Given all these similarities ― and her lingering post-traumatic stress disorder ― Fakhir admits it’s been emotionally triggering to watch so many in the public make light of the “Donda” rapper’s behavior. Some in the media are portraying the story as pure entertainment ― a high-drama celebrity divorce to keep us entertained during a pandemic.

Look at the comment section of any of West’s most recent Instagram posts and you’ll see them applauding his efforts, dropping fire emojis, and making promises to take Davidson out, if only West would say the word. (Others claim the erratic behavior is just “part of West’s album and doc rollout/promo,” further trivializing what’s happening to Kardashian and the couple’s children.)

“Watching all of that play out makes me anxious,” Fakhir said. “I feel like I’m breathing underwater when I see the media coverage and the comments. It takes me back to when no one believed he was the problem and accused me of being bitter and spiteful and angry.”

“Being bullied on social media is much more traumatic than reading emails and texts because social media is so public,” she told HuffPost. “If you’re a dramatic person, you want to share your dirty laundry on Instagram and Twitter to do more damage and gain more sympathy.”

It’s West’s fixation on Kardashian moving on with someone new that reminds Evie, a 24-year-old from St. Louis, of her ex. (Like others in this story, Evie asked to use her first name only to protect her privacy.)

Jenn, an administration support specialist in Ontario, Canada, and a mom of three, feels for Kardashian because she was in a similar situation when she left her marriage in 2015. Jenn said her ex-husband was physically and emotionally abusive toward her and had several mental health diagnoses, including schizophrenia. He also had substance abuse problems.

As Jenn knows, there’s no winning as the spouse in this situation: If your partner hurts themselves, you’re blamed for not looking after them. If they apologize and you don’t accept, you’re coldhearted and dismissive of their show of progress.

“Putting up boundaries took years because I was scared of his reaction,” Jenn wrote HuffPost. “He’s now sober but still harasses me daily. My therapist says it’s possible to be mentally ill and also be an abusive partner outside that. I believe her but society doesn’t.”

Kardashian is in a “horribly toxic situation” right now, Jenn said, and it shouldn’t be romanticized. (It’s flabbergasting to see the number of women expressing sentiments along the lines of, “I need a man who’s gonna act like Kanye if I leave him,” on Twitter.)

“Right now we all have a front row seat to the cycle of abuse that’s so common,” she wrote. “It’s hard to reach a man like Kanye, but the support he receives and the lighthearted nature of all the media coverage is allowing this to be normalized. It’s just not OK.”

It’s also a good idea to take a break from the internet if you’re feeling overwhelmed. West may be giving everyone a front-row seat to his divorce, but you don’t have to sit down and watch it, said Gilbert, the therapist who specializes in high-conflict divorce.

There is nothing about this situation that can simply be chalked up to your standard “celebrity divorce,” she said. “This is what it is like to divorce a narcissist. It’s time we call it what it is.”

This content was originally published here.

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